Its been so long!

Hello again, It has been some time since I have posted a bloggerrr. But I have now seen the new Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince twice. Reactions - At first I was really disappointed that is didn't stick to the book, stuff was taken out and replaced with stuff that never happened and then things would happen a TOTALLY different way then in the book. So I was upset I didn't get to see what I wanted. haha. However, I went the day after and decided that the movies with never be like the books, ever. So I like then separately, the movie is one thing and the book another. It was still a good movie, just a little awkward in some places with the acting. But I believe Tom Felton is becoming an AMAZING actor, he did amazingly in this movie. As well as Rupert, Ron is turning into a better character then I would have guessed. Emma Watson did amazing as well, but anyone could have guessed that. Daniel... oh daniel. He was a little awkward in this one I think. But he was still good, and the best Harry anyone could have hoped for.

Its funny, how much people love this book. And its not for the reasons most people think it is for. It isn't all about the magic and the fantasy, for me its about the people and relationships. They way that the people in these books can always care about something greater than themselves. They care about everyone around them, and for standing up for exactly what they believe in and never stop fighting for it. Its about not making partying, getting fucked up, and looking sexy into a priority. School, friends, family, and their future is the most important thing to most all of them. Friends that take care of each other no matter what they have to go through, even if it is an incredibly evil wizard. Its about the goose bumps you get when you hear the opening music of each movie, the feeling you get in the bottom of your stomach when you hear of the leaky cauldron and Diagon ally. The utter sadness you feel when reading through the last part of deathly hallows, following Harry into the Dark Forest for the last time, hearing how scared he is but still walks right into possible death. The selflessness of giving your self up so your friends and family will no longer have to suffer. About wanting something greater then your self, and expecting NOTHING in return. Its about the feel of the tears that stream down your face while reading of Sirius, Dobby, and Dumbledore dying before your eyes on the page. Nothing can compare. Ever.

And thats just the beginning. UGHHH, I gotta get on with my day, or I will just sit here and go on and on about my love for Harry Potter.

By loves!

Bam.

Weird. I finally feel what growing up is suppose to feel like... Scary. It goes by too quickly. The things you think should happen never actually do. People do dumb things, and don't always think about others. But this is how you lear, trial and error. For the most part, I have learned more from my failures then I have from my easy achievements. Life is all about change. No matter what kind of person you are, you must change. Adapt to the new and leave behind the old. I am ready for new, the old is keeping me down. Focusing, is going to be KEY for the fall. No more partying. I can't even handle that anymore. I need to take time for my self. I want to move. Colorado preferably. One more year here, then outt. I hope this works. It will work.

Yawnnnnnn.

Hello! Gray and potentially rainy day :( Matt's home tho, so that nice to have him around. He is currently sleeping, we went with some friends last night to see Transformers 2. The movie was okay, but it was just one big Chevy add, and a highlight of how hot Megan Fox is, but how horrible of an actress she is. I am pretty confident that she had a lot of lines that she said in the old movie in this new movie like... "What do you want?" "What are you/they here for". But at least she looked fine as hell. Bitch don't need to talk to look good. hahaha. And to top it off, the movie theater was HOT AS HELL. It felt like there was no air conditioning on, and EVERYONE in the theater was sweating, and complaining about it after the movie got out. I was walking out behind this dad looking guy who's hair was just DRENCHED with sweat. Sick. And the movie was 2 hrs and 30 mins. Too fucking long, it was the same plot, you had something that bad ones wanted and if they got it they would destroy they world!!?? NO WAY! haha O WELL, HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE COMES IN 22 DAYS. So I will get some good movies finally. And a good ol' Harry Potter Party :) Yes I am having a Potter Party.

I want another tattoo. And I wanna get rid of the ones on my hips bones. And ideas?? I head there are like balms out there that can slowly fade them over time... I want that. Man you really are dumb at 18 when you go and get some random tattoos and think they are badass at first...then not so much really. O wellllllllll. I will bing some tattoo fading balms.

I want to be in playboy when I am older. I have always wanted this, ever since I can remember. I dont think its slutty, or tasty. Playboy is tasteful. And maybe after a few more trips to the gym, I would be brave enough to bare-it-all. So keep your eye open, if I get my way I will probably be one of Hef's girlfriends.... if he is still alive by the time I get to his old ass. hahahaha.

uhhhhhhh, boring morning. Thinking about going to the gym after bing-ing all those pictures of Megan Fox. I am depressed now :( haha

Have a good day!

I live for my Family and Friends.

I had a great Birthday, in GREAT thanks to my Mother and all my Friends who came out to dinner with us :) It was great to see everyone together and to have my mom there with us too. We went to Stellas Seafood Restaurant, Delicious! Melissa got me a fresh new Harry Potter T-shirt, and an HP necklace.

I don't think I feel any different. Comparing being 19 to being 20 now. Its nice not having to say "teen" after telling someone how old I am :) So now only 364 more days until I am 21 and ALL restrictions are lifted from my life. That will be nice. Not to mention it will be easier to get drunk when you dont have to worry about cops.

Well the sunshine is out, Better get it while its good. Lovelovelove.

I woke up to a little Blue Box!

My lovely mother surprised me with a Tiffany & Co. blue box this morning!!!!!! It was a key necklace from their new key collection. Its beautiful and I love it. She is the besttttt :)

YAY! Its my birthday today! 20 years old, or years young I mean :) Just relaxing today, just finished some breakfast, thinking about going into work to see if I cant get a mani, facial, or a massage. Then mall later with my best bitch to find an outfit to wear to my birthday dinner at Stella's tonight :) It should be a good time, Lots of homies coming to celebrate. Ahhh then this Friday my bestie Matt is coming home from Alabama for a week! So that will be nice to have him close again. The end of June is going to be awesome. You know that feeling you get when you start to realize that everything is the way it was intended. Thats how I am feeling. And I love it. Bout time!! Have a good day lovelys.

My Harry Potter Fix for the Day :)

Some sweet ass Harry Potter tattoos I was looking at this morning. Contemplating getting the the lightening bolt somwhere? Behind my ear like that one girl has, but use the lightening bolt from the temporary tattoo set. I think that one looks better. not as bulky :) If I was badass enough I would get a sleeve of Harry Potter, but I am not THAT badass, and I am not ready for that pain just yet. And its summer time and I wouldn't want anything to fade, or get messed up by the beach and pool water. Maybe this up coming week for my personal birthday gift will be that lightening bolt tattoo :) Well its another BEAUTIFUL DAY! 2nd in a row actually. I think I will go layout and soak up some rays. Maybe hit up the beach? With some friends? or even solo. I love going to the beach alone, I get a lot more reading done. Enjoy the pictures, and enjoy the last day of the weekend lovelys :)

Sky is blue, Shout out, Future talk,

So first off, Thank you to AmosCookie for the nomination of Kreative blog!?? I am so new here I barely know what that is, but I get the idea! You rule, Thank youuuu :)

However, life and the weather have made a 180! It is no longer rainy and overcast but, blue skies and sunny!! Still not warm enough to bring back out the bikini :( Saddening. Me and my best friend are patching up some weakening spots in our friendship and NEXT WEEK on Wednesday the 17th I will be turning 20 years young. No longer a teenager. WHOA, weird.. haha. Yeah still a weak age, nothing cool happens, but next year is the big show I guess. 21 right? Thats when a life of restrictions is over. Go anywhere you want, drink anything you want, and rent a rental car where ever you need one! That sounds good to me. My best guy friend, Matt, is actually turning 21 ALREADY, this June on the 28th, graduated together but he is just hella old for our grade, Almost a whole year older then me! And he will be here visiting from the 19-29th! So perfect timing. The rest of June should be pretty fun, and hopefully not pass me by too quickly (BUT quickly enough to bring JULY here with the NEW HP MOVIEE!!!!!!!!). OH!!!! AND MY MOTHER GOT A BRAND SPANKIN' NEW COFFEE MAKER. She truly is my savior. And my addictions is stronger then ever to that dark watery liquid. It keeps me together. Keeps me ALIVE! haha

I am starting to realize that my parents are right. Time does pass you by before you know it. Its weird that this time last year, I was somewhere totally different in my life and had a few different goals in mind. Although, the important ones are still the biggest and most in focus, like going to school, finishing my Associates, get out of mom and dads house...haha maybe. I am going to Inver Hills Community College, most people who go there from my high school hate the place, and call it garbage. I find it comforting. I get put off my impersonal settings, and groups of unknown people. I am getting the same thing that my friends are getting at those over crowded universities, in lectures with over 300 people. My teachers know my name.... Well at least the ones I liked and who knew what they were doing haha. And I am paying less then all of them!! Suckers. Well actually my amazing Grandmother is paying less, this last fall she told me she would pay for all my school while I am at inver. She is the most amazing women ever! I love her :) So, I am doing well in the school department, still have about a year or so until I finish my Associates degree, but I am still at mom and dads house for a little while longer... And I am okay with that. I like it here. My parents are awesome... at least my mom is. My dad is a little if-y sometimes. I am content here, and don't have to pay rent.

But I don't want to let life slip by me, I need to take in what's happening around me when it happens. I need to do the things I want too when I want to do them, I need to say what I feel the moment I feel it. I need to allow my self to feel, laugh, love, and live. My parents where ALL OVER the place right out of high school. My parents met each other while seismographing in the Colorado mountains, while sometimes living out of B&B's, friends couches, live in vans. I have seen pictures of them young, and doing all these things. Happy, and Free. Going where they want to go, seeing places they want too, working where they want. Doing what they want with each other. I am going to do that. But its all about that timing, it has to be right and perfect. I think I need a little more knowledge in my head before I go off broadening it. So maybe after obtaining that AA, then buying some plan tickets while really deciding on what I wanna finish school as. I know I will have english and literature, I need that in my life for as long as I live. I need it to give me a break from the cynical, too real, and close minded people in ever day life. Or I would die due too lack of imagination, love, and escape. What do I do with that English major? I cannot edit for the life of me, I ALWAYS need someone else to proof read my own works, I would enjoy teaching after I have done what I want to do and I think I would like to teach high school juniors and seniors, become an author? columnist? But then there is, sociology and anthropology. What do you do with those things now? Now that people go to school just to get a job that will make them a decent amount of money. But what if I want to go to school for the love of it? For wanting to better myself, not just to get that education and piece of paper to tell and them I can do the job they want as long as I get that pay check. And as long as I follow their rules and make them money right? I do not want a life like that. I need reason, and inspiration. Well, my coffee just ran out, and the sun is hot on my back deck. I am going to get it while the going is good and soak up some sun before work this afternoon. So if you have read through this lengthy life rant blog, kudos to you my friends. Where are you going with your education? Why? For the love or money? Have you gone anywhere too organize your life? If so, where? Also, I am on a cooking trip. And if you have any favorite recipes, throw them my way!! Thank you friends!!

Gemini Horoscope 06/12:

Others just want to listen to what you have to say today. Wherever you are, it may be difficult to tend to your own affairs. Although you may not have all the answers, you seem to recognize where others can look to find the answers. You gain positive results in whatever you try to achieve. Your timing is good. Being in touch with your emotional roots is a keynote of the cycle that takes hold in your life these days. This has to do with feelings, but may be a little more than that: it's about making the things you feel and care about a reality. At some level, this means a greater focus on family life--parents, children and relatives--the domestic scene. On a somewhat broader scale, you are likely to find that making a place for yourself may be your biggest interest.

Horoscopes.

Health and work goals take on a greater importance for you today. You are freedom loving, independent and at times, even a trifle remote. You are not bound by relationships and are thus not much of a domestic. You are very original when it comes to home and surroundings--the resulting in the environment you build around you. This could also manifest in unusual ways of supporting yourself. When you have breakthroughs, they often come as insights into your immediate surroundings--your support system. There are new insights today into how you can add to your finances. Don't be in such a hurry that you forget to ask questions. This evening will bring several opportunities for pleasurable activities--but no gambling.

That was my Horoscope today. And its ALWAYS right on, its almost scary. But something very sad happened today... My coffee maker died :( It cam no longer brew me a full pot, it dribbles for 5 seconds then stops. Sad day.

But like my scope said, I am independent at times and even a trifle remote. And thats exactly how I feel at this very moment. I still live in the same town I went to High School in, and so did a few of my friends. My best friend melissa stayed and we attended the same school, Argosy University, She is still attending but I hated that place so I dropped out and picked back up the fall after at Inver Hills Community College. Love it there. Although there are a good number of people around still, it still feels limited to a select few. My best friend, her boyfriend, ANOTHER couple, and some randomer guys. Sweet. I guess its just a little frustrating ALWAYS having to be around couples. In reality, it actually makes me sick. Melissa is unbelievably dependent on her boyfriend, she cant do anything that would possible upset him, yet he does ANYTHING and everything he wants. They fight all the time, yet melissa always backs down and says she was wrong in the worries he would leave her. Sad. Brit and Josh are pretty okay. Brit isn't constantly with josh... or at least she isn't while he is working. It basically feels like I am not officially apart of their clan. I don't have a boyfriend. Ever. I just can't bring myself to actually start a relationship. I basically had one serious relationship in high school, my 10 and 11th grade year. With a real fucking jerk, the BIGGEST womanizer in our school. So he's the one I ended up. DUH. We were kinda of together for a little while before we OFFICIALLY started to date. Little did I know he was still with his old girl during this pre-dating stuff. Dirtball. Then he DID break up with her, I know that from the horribly mean stares from her and her group of evil bitches. They were seniors and I was a sophomore. haha BITCH. So when we were dating everything was good, he was amazing. Then after we kinda had a fight one night, him and jessie ( thats the bitch ) had been hanging out that night after she had come by to see his parents. I had no problem with that, because a secure person doesn't fret over old boyfriends or girlfriends. They ended up getting drunk over at a mutual friends house. HAHA. Then they fucked. NICE. He called me the next day and told me he had to talk to me, blah blah blah. That old song and dance. He told me, we cried, I left and told him I never wanted to see his face ever again. Later that night he was back over at my house.... I should have ended it there and then maybe I still wouldn't have to be dealing with his weak as shit. Basically after he cheated we still hung out, but were not together. Eventually he ended up back with his ugly ass ex-girlfriend. His favorite thing to do is to cheat. And he actually is really good about it. The girl her had after Jess, was Ellie. Poor dumb girl. I told her TO HER FACE, that he had cheated on her with me, ( yeahhh I knoww, I suck for doing that. But every-time he told me he was done with her, or they had just broken up. I was hoodwinked. ) her answer? " Thats impossible.. He loves me. He would never do that to me." Dumb cunt. Well you got what you deserved in the end. A horrible boyfriend who cheated on you numerous time, with not me but probably a few others as well. He is always in communication with girls, telling them lies like, I have always liked you, lets goes on dates, BLAH BLH BLAH. I know this because I am good friends with another one of his girls he tells lies to. With him, you would NEVER know the truth, there was always something going on in the dark. And I think thats what did it to me. He freaked me out about being lied too. about being told one thing that he tells 5 other girls. How special would you feel after a relationship like that?? I don't trust, like every-other girl you meet. I don't believe that one person will stay faithful. What happens if you are with someone, and a girl walks by that might be a little better then you?? Whats stopping him from going after you and putting you out of mind? Not a damn thing. So I will save both you and I the inconvenience of breaking up so you can get some new pussy. 

So all in all. I took that relationships don't mean shit here. Never will. Its too easy and fun to cheat right?? I lost faith in guys to keep it monogamous. But hey, thats not my problem.

WHOOOOOAAA, that was totally off topic. I started off with talking about friends... and ended up bitching about old weak ass boyfriend. ehh, its good to do that every now and again. 

But like I had said, few people around. and the people around are already coupled up.. I don't have a best friend anymore because she has a boyfriend. So at the moment I am kinda going at it alone. And I kind of like it...I guess. I, like i have stated in my previous blog, smoke pot. Now the less that I am with them the less I smoke, and that makes me feel good. I have started to feel like a giant blob. haha. ever since my 11th grade year, the longest I have gone with out smoking was one or two days. Until recently I had gone 5 days! WOO, go me :) But I think its better to have it be a weekend thing compared to a daily thing, that cost a minimum of $20. Waste of moneyyyyyyyyyyy. but I love getting high :) So I will take my friends dropping me on my ass, again (because this shit has happened before.), as a wake up call. And an opportunity to read, and do things for myself. Its a good feeling... Kinda.

Well I am starting to go through coffee withdrawals, better make a starbucks run. I am gettin the shakes. haha Kidding :)

Have a fabulous day lovelys.   

My Daily Cup.

Good Morning!! Well actually... Good Afternoon, I slept in :)

Just enjoying my normal coffee this morning while surfing between Leaky, Horoscopes, Twitter, and my Blog. I love these kind of mornings! 

Stilly raining.. Has been for three days now :( It just makes you not want to do anything, sleep in, lay around all day and just watch movies. What a great summer huh?? Its been so could and dreary. Started to follow a few need blogs today, I love finding new ones. New people, new ideas, not stories. I just really like NEW.

Speaking of new... How and when is a good time for someone to turn a new leaf? I mean, I enjoy my current leaf but every now and then you out grow that leaf and need to find a new one. But am I looking for a new leaf in the same area? or a new state? With the same habits that I had on the last one? I smoke weed, and I have no problem with that. I believe that todays population associate weed with gangs, violence, and bad things. Which yes, happen because it is built up that way. But on the other side of things people smoke weed and don't kill people, or like those STUPID commercials, call there girlfriends 50 times, leave their friends "stranded" at a party, or MELT into a couch because they are so lazy. Come on people get real. From my experience smoking, which has been since my 10th grade year in High School, and now I will be turning 20 on June 17th, about 4 years.. I find it to yes make people lazy and unmotivated by personal choice. But you don't do out of control stupid things UNLES YOU ARE AN OUT OF CONTROL STUPID PERSON before you smoke dope. Its should be on the same level of Tobacco and Alcohol. WHICH, BY PROVEN FACT are WORSE then weed. So why are those two things legal after a particular age? Even tho so many people DIE from both of those products, if it isn't from the medical side of them it like getting cancer, 2nd hand smoke or emphysema, you are Drinking and driving drunk and killing whoever falls in your path. But if you get high and lay on your couch and play video games all day that is 100000000 times worse for you. So watch out and make it illegal. And not to mention, people need and want medical marijuana for medicinal purposes. But no, in some places its 100% not allowed, others it is at the state level but when the FEDS get wind of it. SHUT.DOWN. So then the patients are resorting to having to take medications that put chemicals in their body that weed doesn't. But I am NOT saying weed is healthy... When you physically smoke anything organic it will have its various health problems. But that is not the only way you smoke dope, Vaporizing, a vaporizer heats the material in a partial vacuum so that the active compounds contained in the plant boil off into a vapor. There is an option. But I personally like the taste of weed... The good dank kind. Roll that up into a fat blunt. Smoke it dowwnnnnnnn. Haha. But there are two sides to this situation, and I understand and respect both sides. I guess my problem is that there are both sides to cigarettes and alcohol as well Marijuana has just been made taboo because it has a lot about it that are unknown. People are only afraid of the things they don't understand. But people know EVERY SINGLE side effect, and bad thing that comes with Tobacco and Alcohol, short term and long term. But people still suck both of those toxins downnnnnn, like they are going to die tomorrow... which they probably will if they keep up with those habits. And then you become the statistic you read about, and ignored. I have NO pity for you. Thats my first pot rant on this blog. Caution... there ill probably be more. I support the free use of weed. If you don't approve, get the fuck off my blog page bitch? hahahaha :)

Drinking through a pot of coffee.

I could probably live off coffee. Its soooo goooood :) Well yet another pleasant day here in Minnesota, thinking about laying out before work creeps up on my. But until the sun get to my deck I am entertaining my self by watching 101 even better celebrity oops. Stupid really. Yet guilty of being suck into it, and those stupid magazines. Why do we have to get so wrapped up in their fancy lives. In reality I think a vast majority, they are nasty ugly people inside wrapped up in greed, and themselves. Yet we love them. Frustrating. 

Shifting gears... haha. I want to see that Hangover movie really back. And the Land of The Lost. AND HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE!!!!! Ughh.. I think about it everyday. I was checking through my usual Harry Potter fan site, The Leaky Cauldron, and found new stuff from Hot Topic!! Like HP bags, shirts, jewelry, and what not. Check them out :)

I went to the Horse Races last night, makes me really miss horseback riding, and having my own horse. FFFFFFFFFFF, I wish I shill had reno :( I need to find a stable to ride at asap. I was thinking about checking out the race track for possible job openings for grooming the horses and what not. We will see, I am pretty sure all that is in relation to the stable where the horse is trained at. But crossing my fingers. 

Well the suns on the deck. Better go catch some skin damaging rays before work.... ekkk :)

ahhh, fresh blog.

Summer time and the living is easy :) At the moment a little sun burnt, but beside that summer is so far an success! I think the best part of summer is the fact that I have all the free time to read the books that I want, and I don't have to follow some reading outline for a book I don't really want to read. Isn't that the worst? But I am almost done with my re-read of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, just needed to brush up on what happens before the movie comes out July 15th!!! Basically 41 days away!!! Its weird, last time it go this close they f-ing pushed the release date back, so I get a little nervous haha :)

I need to get out. ASAP. I am still going to be attending a Community College close to home and I really enjoy it there. The class sizes are nice and , but I think this has to be the last year of that. Colorado is looking pretty enticing, but there is snow there in the winter. And I don't want anymore snow... It sucks :( I think I need a warm winter, or at least be somewhere that does not reach -50. OVER IT.

Well, my coffee running out and getting cold. Which means I need to star my day and attempt to get things accomplished. Hopefully :) Au revoir.