Horoscopes.

Health and work goals take on a greater importance for you today. You are freedom loving, independent and at times, even a trifle remote. You are not bound by relationships and are thus not much of a domestic. You are very original when it comes to home and surroundings--the resulting in the environment you build around you. This could also manifest in unusual ways of supporting yourself. When you have breakthroughs, they often come as insights into your immediate surroundings--your support system. There are new insights today into how you can add to your finances. Don't be in such a hurry that you forget to ask questions. This evening will bring several opportunities for pleasurable activities--but no gambling.

That was my Horoscope today. And its ALWAYS right on, its almost scary. But something very sad happened today... My coffee maker died :( It cam no longer brew me a full pot, it dribbles for 5 seconds then stops. Sad day.

But like my scope said, I am independent at times and even a trifle remote. And thats exactly how I feel at this very moment. I still live in the same town I went to High School in, and so did a few of my friends. My best friend melissa stayed and we attended the same school, Argosy University, She is still attending but I hated that place so I dropped out and picked back up the fall after at Inver Hills Community College. Love it there. Although there are a good number of people around still, it still feels limited to a select few. My best friend, her boyfriend, ANOTHER couple, and some randomer guys. Sweet. I guess its just a little frustrating ALWAYS having to be around couples. In reality, it actually makes me sick. Melissa is unbelievably dependent on her boyfriend, she cant do anything that would possible upset him, yet he does ANYTHING and everything he wants. They fight all the time, yet melissa always backs down and says she was wrong in the worries he would leave her. Sad. Brit and Josh are pretty okay. Brit isn't constantly with josh... or at least she isn't while he is working. It basically feels like I am not officially apart of their clan. I don't have a boyfriend. Ever. I just can't bring myself to actually start a relationship. I basically had one serious relationship in high school, my 10 and 11th grade year. With a real fucking jerk, the BIGGEST womanizer in our school. So he's the one I ended up. DUH. We were kinda of together for a little while before we OFFICIALLY started to date. Little did I know he was still with his old girl during this pre-dating stuff. Dirtball. Then he DID break up with her, I know that from the horribly mean stares from her and her group of evil bitches. They were seniors and I was a sophomore. haha BITCH. So when we were dating everything was good, he was amazing. Then after we kinda had a fight one night, him and jessie ( thats the bitch ) had been hanging out that night after she had come by to see his parents. I had no problem with that, because a secure person doesn't fret over old boyfriends or girlfriends. They ended up getting drunk over at a mutual friends house. HAHA. Then they fucked. NICE. He called me the next day and told me he had to talk to me, blah blah blah. That old song and dance. He told me, we cried, I left and told him I never wanted to see his face ever again. Later that night he was back over at my house.... I should have ended it there and then maybe I still wouldn't have to be dealing with his weak as shit. Basically after he cheated we still hung out, but were not together. Eventually he ended up back with his ugly ass ex-girlfriend. His favorite thing to do is to cheat. And he actually is really good about it. The girl her had after Jess, was Ellie. Poor dumb girl. I told her TO HER FACE, that he had cheated on her with me, ( yeahhh I knoww, I suck for doing that. But every-time he told me he was done with her, or they had just broken up. I was hoodwinked. ) her answer? " Thats impossible.. He loves me. He would never do that to me." Dumb cunt. Well you got what you deserved in the end. A horrible boyfriend who cheated on you numerous time, with not me but probably a few others as well. He is always in communication with girls, telling them lies like, I have always liked you, lets goes on dates, BLAH BLH BLAH. I know this because I am good friends with another one of his girls he tells lies to. With him, you would NEVER know the truth, there was always something going on in the dark. And I think thats what did it to me. He freaked me out about being lied too. about being told one thing that he tells 5 other girls. How special would you feel after a relationship like that?? I don't trust, like every-other girl you meet. I don't believe that one person will stay faithful. What happens if you are with someone, and a girl walks by that might be a little better then you?? Whats stopping him from going after you and putting you out of mind? Not a damn thing. So I will save both you and I the inconvenience of breaking up so you can get some new pussy. 

So all in all. I took that relationships don't mean shit here. Never will. Its too easy and fun to cheat right?? I lost faith in guys to keep it monogamous. But hey, thats not my problem.

WHOOOOOAAA, that was totally off topic. I started off with talking about friends... and ended up bitching about old weak ass boyfriend. ehh, its good to do that every now and again. 

But like I had said, few people around. and the people around are already coupled up.. I don't have a best friend anymore because she has a boyfriend. So at the moment I am kinda going at it alone. And I kind of like it...I guess. I, like i have stated in my previous blog, smoke pot. Now the less that I am with them the less I smoke, and that makes me feel good. I have started to feel like a giant blob. haha. ever since my 11th grade year, the longest I have gone with out smoking was one or two days. Until recently I had gone 5 days! WOO, go me :) But I think its better to have it be a weekend thing compared to a daily thing, that cost a minimum of $20. Waste of moneyyyyyyyyyyy. but I love getting high :) So I will take my friends dropping me on my ass, again (because this shit has happened before.), as a wake up call. And an opportunity to read, and do things for myself. Its a good feeling... Kinda.

Well I am starting to go through coffee withdrawals, better make a starbucks run. I am gettin the shakes. haha Kidding :)

Have a fabulous day lovelys.